Chapter 51-60

Chapter 51
My mind goes blank at first. Sinclair is too close to the truth, to figuring out that I’m not as immune to him as either of us would like to believe. The voice in my head is panicking, but I try to keep it together. Praying for calm, I take a deep breath, and as I exhale I recall the ability to speak.

“Because we’re supposed to be in this together, and you played me.” I murmur, speaking the truth – but not the whole truth. I can’t admit to him that I feel utterly rejected by his ploy, that I feel unwanted on a visceral level and it’s tearing me up inside for reasons I don’t yet understand. “You played me like I’m one of those reporters, or the Prince.”

Sinclair’s face twists into a grimace, and the next thing I know he’s reaching for me, “Please, come here Ella.”

“No.” I insist stubbornly, preparing to move away if he tries to approach me.

“I’m sorry.” He expresses, looking truly remorseful. “I didn’t mean to do that. I care about you, I don’t want to hurt you that way.”

“Well you did.” I reply petulantly. I don’t know where this comes from. With anyone else I would have accepted the apology and moved on, whether I actually felt better or not. I’ve always chosen peace over my own feelings – but I find it very hard to pretend with Sinclair. I think he would know that I don’t actually feel better, so why should I fake it?

“I know.” He nods grimly. “I promise I’ll find a way to make it up to you.”